TreeSmart recycled newspaper #2 pencil review

The TreeSmart pencil does not suffer from the familiar "eco-friendly" drawbacks of being inferior and expensive.  It is a fine pencil, in many ways superior to wood pencils.

This pencil is far better than other "recycled" pencils I have suffered with.  The "recycled" pencils I am most familiar with are made from recycled fibers (money, denim, newspapers) which have been shredded, mixed with a hard resin, then extruded around a hard plasticky lead core.  Like Frankenstein's Monster, the fact that it can be done is impressive, but the product itself is dreadful: the extruded pencil barrel is heavy, crumbles away from the lead, does not sharpen easily, and the lead itself is hard and does not leave a dark line.

In contrast, the TreeSmart pencil is not extruded; instead, a glue-like binder is added to sheets of newspaper, and the newspaper is wound around a pencil lead, like paper towels rolled around a cardboard tube.  This binder is fairly solid on the finished pencil, so the pencil doesn't tear away or unravel the way one sharpens a "grease pencil" or china marker.  This paper-winding process virtually eliminates uncentered pencil leads by ensuring that the barrel is evenly distributed around the core.  Furthermore, the paper tends to cushion and support the lead better than wood pencils.  This pencil feels a bit heavier than a wood pencil, but it is still comfortable to write with.

The TreeSmart pencil claims to be made from "100% recycled newspaper."  I don't know how much of this recycled paper is post-consumer, pre-consumer, or whatever.  As you sharpen the pencil, you can see printing on the pencil's barrel as its interior is exposed.  If you use a blade sharpener, this printing may actually be readable on the shavings.  There actually seems to be 2 types of paper wrapped around this core: a white paper with printing on the inside, and a gray paper with no printing on the outside of the pencil.

I shudder to think what would happen if you soaked this pencil in water for a few hours.  I suspect that the paper would basically turn into mush and fall off the pencil core.  This might not be the safest pencil to bring into a wet environment, but I suspect that many wood pencils would also warp and/or split apart if sufficiently waterlogged.  The Staedtler Wopex (which also claims to be "eco-friendly") might be your best bet for a water-drenched environment.

My user experience is good.  The pencil produces a nice, dark line, with smooth, soft lead.  The eraser is soft and has a bright green color.  The ferrule is a gold-colored metal.

This pencil sharpens very easily with either a blade or a burr sharpener.  There is a very faint chemical smell as it is sharpened, but this dissipates quickly and is not overly unpleasant.

The pencil is not really painted, but given a peculiar printing with blotchy random letters to resemble newsprint on the somewhat unattractive gray exterior, then the pencil is given a thin but pleasant varnish.  And then TreeSmart smudges its logo, slogan, and website URL onto the pencil in dark green ink.

This pencil is very similar to the O'Bon pencil, but it is not identical.  The O'Bon uses a very similar newspaper-wrapped-around-a-lead-core process, but O'Bon adds a decorative paint job and even 4-color printing.  The TreeSmart is more Americanized, with the familiar conveniences of an eraser and ferrule.  I also never noticed an odor while sharpening the O'Bon.

These pencils are fairly reasonable: TreeSmart sells boxes of 24 for $8; Amazon sells these for $12.  Unfortunately, I have not seen smaller quantities available, but I can assure you that this is a fine pencil and you will not be disappointed, if you can accept the minor drawbacks I describe above.

Staedtler Rally #2 HB review

In an era when many pencil manufacturers discontinue their pencil lines, get absorbed in mergers, or even go bust; Staedtler keeps going strong.

The Staedtler Rally #2 HB gets the job done.  My user experience was good.

The Staedtler Rally #2 HB is billed as a pencil particularly suited for fill-in-the-oval tests, where one needs a dark lead.  Indeed, I easily produced a nice, dark line with this pencil.  The lead is smooth and of good quality.  The eraser is white and reasonably soft, held in place with a silvery metal ferrule.

The paint job features attractive Navy & White stripes running the length of the pencil.  The navy blue is understated and not heavily saturated, but the high contrast color scheme may make it unwelcome in office environments.

My burr sharpener left an uncomfortable fibrous surface nap on the exposed wood, despite my efforts to smooth it out.  I have not tried sharpening this with a blade sharpener.  The wood is not cedar; I don't know what wood it is made of, but the pencil is made in Thailand.

The lead was off-center after I sharpened it, but this might be user error on my part; maybe I did an off-center sharpening job.

This pencil is very reasonably priced; Amazon sells a box of 12 pre-sharpened for $3.49.

PaperMate Earth Write pencil: First Looks

This is my first look at the PaperMate Earth Write pencil, which I found sitting on my table at a nearby restaurant.

This pencil has a wooden barrel.  The PaperMate website has very little to say about this pencil, but PaperMate claims that this is 100% pre-consumer recycled wood.  It appears far too pale to be cedar and did not smell like cedar.  Unfortunately, I did not get the opportunity to sharpen it, so I cannot comment on its behavior in a sharpener.

This pencil had bright yellow (not school-bus yellow) glossy paint, with bright green lettering.  Most of the PaperMate Earth Write pencils I have seen in advertising photos have bright green paint.

It has a metal ferrule, but the eraser was broken off inside the ferrule (is this a harbinger of a poor-quality eraser?), so I cannot comment on the eraser's effectiveness.

The 'lead' is comfortably soft and smooth and leaves a nice dark line, as you would expect from a quality #2 pencil.  The pencil feels very light in one's hand, yet sturdy enough to properly support the lead and otherwise feel substantial.

To sum up, my user experience was very good.  There is always the fear that when we try an ecologically-friendly product, we must suffer with a spartan substitution; like replacing the rich and complex flavors of an expensive cheese with the light blandness which is tofu: it may be easier on the planet, but it is harder on the consumer.  I am glad to say that I did not suffer at all with this fine pencil.

Another concern is that an ecologically-sustainable product may be easier on the biosphere, but harder on the wallet.  Fortunately, I have seen these pencils advertised for sale at the reasonable price of under $5 per dozen.

In fact, this pencil was so nice and inexpensive that I have to wonder how good it really is for our ecosystem.  Perhaps the packaging has more details of the environmental benefits of using this pencil rather than its competitors.

Having said this, and having tried this pencil, I must report that this is not a spectacular pencil.  I will not throw out any existing pencils to make way for this pencil, nor will I order any PaperMate Earth Write pencils to round out my expansive collection of pencils which already includes many ecologically-sensitive pencils.  I will not purchase these pencils as a gift to delight my friends and relatives.  I didn't even want to take the pencil I tried home with me; I left it on the restaurant table.

Foreword Regarding Pencils

I have recently rediscovered my passion for pencils.  I now have a drawer overflowing with black "lead" pencils from all over the world.  If there's a pencil I haven't tried, I want to try it out.  In our new digital age wherein we smear our fingertips against a glowing glass panel or type into restrictive boxes, the simple act of writing, drawing, and communicating with a pencil on paper should be a refreshing sensual pleasure to savor.  Furthermore, pencils and paper need not be expensive or elitist, but rather the opposite: affordable, available, and approachable by everyone.

I Lost the GenCon 2014 Beer Naming Contest

I submitted my 3 entries for the naming contest for the official GenCon 2014 beer.  They were all rejected.  If you like any of these, please feel free to use them to name or even inspire a D&D-themed libation of your own creation.

Gygaxoline
"Set your campaign on fire with Gygaxoline!"  The late Gary Gygax was one of the creators of Dungeons & Dragons.  Gasoline is a volatile and explosive petrochemical fuel.

Tanglebutt 
"Sticks your ass to your chair."  D&D describes an alchemical device called a Tanglefoot Bag, which is basically a water baloon full of super glue; you throw it at a monster's feet, and they're stuck to the floor until they can break free.  In real life, I have experienced frozen drinks which got me so drunk I almost couldn't stand.

Endure Light Wounds
Cure Light Wounds is a popular D&D spell which heals a small amount of injury.  In contrast, quaffing an alcoholic beverage won't repair an injury, but the ensuing inebriation might make it less unpleasant.

Mana Up
A beer that recovers your magical abilities.

Suds Up or Shuts Up
I imagine this to be a beer popular with Goblins, who bully each other and don't speak human languages very well.

Orc Torque
Torque refers to rotational force, like a turning or twisting motion.  It could refer to adjusting the attitude of a grouchy Orc via alcohol.  It could refer to the twisting motion required to remove the cap or cork from the bottle.  It could refer to violent twisting done to an Orc in melee combat, thereby rendering them inoperable; large amounts of alcohol might also render someone inoperable.

Pour Initiative!
In D&D combat, who goes first is determined by a modified dice roll referred to as 'Initiative.'  The game referee will call out: 'roll initiative,' and the highest number goes first, and then the second highest, and so on.  The call 'roll initiative' takes on an ominous tone, because it means that diplomacy has failed and people are about to get hurt.  Of course, initiative can also refer to an inspiration to do something one ordinarily might not do, and alcohol has a tendency to lower the inhibitions of the imbiber such that they do things they ordinarily might not do.

Paladin Palliative
Paladins are the goody-two-shoes knights in shining armor of D&D; their religious fervor also makes them pains in the ass for characters with more relaxed ethical or moral standards; imagine hanging out with strict nun warriors all the time.  A palliative is something which makes something less severe.  Maybe this beverage could mellow out a paladin, or maybe a paladin's companions must drink this beverage in order to tolerate the paladin's presence.

Gnome Gnip
Gnomes are magical people gnown to enjoy adult beverages.  But maybe this name would be better suited to a sweet, magical liqeur.

Brinemaiden Brew
'Brinemaiden' here is a portmanteau of 'Rhinemaiden' and 'Brine,' and it basically refers to mermaids.  Guys love mermaids.  Guys love beer.  What if the mermaids actually made and offered beer?  It might actually taste a little salty, like alcoholic Gatorade!  Put a pretty, smiling mermaid on the bottle!  Somebody start brewing this so I can drink some!

Shire Mire
The Shire is where the Hobbits lived in those Tolkien books, and I imagine it to be muddy.  Also, Hobbits liked to enjoy the sensual pleasures of food and drink.  I imagine this to be a particularly dark beer.

Fantasy RPG Player Miniatures: Total Coverage

I would like to propose here my concept of Total Coverage for Fantasy Role-Playing Games player character miniatures.

If you catalog the races and classes in the World's Most Popular Role Playing Game, you will find that there are 7 races and 11 character classes.  The races include: Dwarves, Gnomes, Halflings, Humans, Half-Elves, Elves, and Half-Orcs.  The classes include: Barbarians, Bards, Clerics, Druids, Fighters, Monks, Paladins, Rangers, Rogues, Sorcerers  and Wizards.  Some races have favored classes, and these favored classes are emphasized by miniatures manufacturers, so you'll find a lot of elf rangers, dwarf fighters, and halfling rogues.  But what do you use for a miniature if you have a half-orc druid?  What if you have a gnome paladin?  These combinations are underserved by folks in the miniatures business.  Surely there must be a need.

Total Coverage here means that every race, class, and gender is physically represented by a miniature.

Before I get into the math, I will assume that there are only 2 genders.  I appreciate that there are many who do not feel comfortable in the dominant culture's 2-gender system, but the infinite spectrum of genders we live in is impossible to thoroughly represent with a necessarily fixed number of clothed 1-inch figures.  I hope that all reading this can be content to fantasy role-play using a miniature intended to represent one of two genders, with some possible user-instigated modifications to the physical miniature.

So, with 7 fantasy races, 11 character classes, and 2 genders, we would need 154 miniatures to represent everybody.

That's a lot of sculpting!  But we might be able to reduce this, by making some reasonable substitutions.

For starters, what is really different between a Wizard and a Sorceror?  To most people, the term is interchangeable.  But gamers know that Wizards study their spells from a book and use spell components, whereas Sorcerors are relieved of that burden.  As adventurers, however, both Wizards and Sorcerors can reasonably be expected to carry around some equipment, such as a change of underclothes, trail rations, rope, a tent, etc., so both can plausibly wear a backpack large enough to accomodate the Wizard spellcasting gear which the Sorceror doesn't need.  Therefore, we combine the Wizard and Sorceror miniature to make the Arcane Spellcaster, and we only have 10 classes to represent.

Similarly, what is visibly different between Paladins and Fighters?  Both wear the same armor and carry the same weapons; so visibly the only difference should be the Paladin's holy symbol, which doesn't need to be all that big, and there's no reason a Fighter can't also wear a holy symbol.  Maybe the Paladin has a brighter paint job.  Let's combine the two classes into the Warrior, and now we have only 9 classes to represent.

Now things get a little delicate: how different is a half-elf from a human or an elf?  How different are they at about 1/64th scale?  Sure, an elf's ears can really poke out of a hairdo, but what about a half-elf's ears?  For the sake of argument, let's imagine a miniatures spectrum without explicit half-elves.  Could a player get by using an elf or a human miniature in place of a half-elf?  If we can substitute this, we cut our races down to 6.

Running the numbers now: with 6 races, 9 classes, and 2 genders, we only need 108 miniatures to represent everybody.  That's almost a 30% reduction in sculptures from our original 154.

We can attempt to reduce this further, but it gets tricky.  Sure, most races are going to look similar in full plate armor with their helmets on.  But the whole point of this is that everyone should have some identifiable form of physical representation.  Halflings are different from Gnomes in that Halflings have fuzzy feet.  Bards need their musical instruments.  Barbarians need to look savage.  Rangers need bows.  Druids need to look nature-y.  Monks need to look like they came out of a kung-fu movie.  I think the 108-figure system is a reasonable compromise.

Crystal Shine My Little Pony

I went to my local big box retailer and picked up 2 "blind bag" My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic figurines; to parents, these are bluish foil bags about 4 inches x 5 inches with a single pony figurine inside.  The previous line featured pinkish foil bags.

I'm not so fond of these Crystal Shine ponies.  These are made of a sturdy-yet-flexible vinyl material similar to the pink-foil-bag ponies, but whereas the pink bags featured opaque ponies, the blue bags have translucent ponies.

I suspect these translucent colors are intended to look very glasslike, but to me the matte surface makes them look gelatinous; your toy looks like a Gummy Pony.  You can also see where the head is attached (glued?) to the neck stalk through the figurine's translucent head, which is somewhat interesting, and reduces my desire to take them apart.

I am somewhat reminded of the tragic disabled sister in Tennessee Williams' "The Glass Menagerie," who has little glass toy animals.  Somehow, the glass unicorns get bumped and lose their horns, and having lost their magical features, they are mere horses.  This reflects (glass--reflects--Ah almost had a joke there, son) the sister's status; she is a young woman in her prime and she should be considered as radiantly beautiful as her Southern Belle peers, but her deformity (like a unicorn losing its horn) relegates her to ordinary, plain, non-magical status.  Of course, her self-image as unlovably flawed is largely imagined; there, I spoiled the play for you.

Of course, the flip side of this is that these sturdy ponies are flexible enough to survive any number of reasonable bumps and not lose their fine appendages; if only that sad sister had Rarity or Twilight for unicorns!  Those horns aren't breaking off any time soon!  On a similar note, if there are any teen girls out there, you are way prettier than you think you are; bug your folks to sign you up for Karate practice and your instructor can teach you special moves wherein you develop deep inner reserves of self-esteem.

Regardless, if the maudlin "Glass Menagerie" comparison is not enough to sour you, the gelatinous appearance might remind you that much of the gelatin in gelatin-based treats comes from boiling the flesh and bones of hooved animals ("Soylent Gummy Bears are made of PONIES!  Maybe.").  Oh, did I mention that I'm a vegetarian?

But besides that, they're just plain weird-looking: you can see right through their skin and any skeleton and organs and muscles they should logically have.  It makes me wish I could actually see a nice, healthy skeleton inside the figurine, with healthy eyeballs and organs and blood vessels and so forth.  In fact, maybe you could see how the pegasus wings attach to the equine body's skeletons, which would answer a lot of questions.  Unfortunately, their all-gelatinous appearance just emphasises the fact that these toys are dead.

What?  You just bought a bunch of these for your daughter?  Ah, don't worry about it; she probably won't think about that.