Make Your Own Kitty Hat

Buttons and fake head sold separately.

Do you want to show that you care about women's issues?  Do you want to express dissatisfaction with the current Government?  Do you want to draw admiring glances from people you meet on the street?  Do you like cats?  Do you want to keep your head warm in cold weather?  Are you interested in an easy creative project?  If you answered yes to any of these questions, you should make yourself a pink Kitty Hat.  I'll walk you through making a Kitty Hat out of warm, versatile, colorful, durable, low-maintenance Polar Fleece.

How Much Hat Do You Want?

Each square is 2 inches.

First, decide how tall you want your hat.  12 inches is good for a small and simple rimless cap, but you can give yourself extra coverage and a good "cuff" or hem around your hat (as in the photo above) with 18 inches.  This cuff will also give you an extra layer insulating your head against cold weather.  You can also fold the "cuff" inside (towards the head), where it will not appear to the outside world, but you can get those extra inches of hat if the wind picks up and you need more coverage.

Next, measure the circumference of your head.  Don't pull the measuring tape too tight, or your hat will be too tight.  A "cuff" will also add some squeeze around the head.  Also, you will need to add an extra inch to account for the fabric you'll "lose" in the seam.  For my extra-fat head, I estimated 28 inches (see diagram), and my hat turned out pretty well.

The directions for this design are for a reversible double-layer Kitty Hat with one color on the inside, and another color on the outside.  The reversible color scheme gives your hat more versatility and allows you to make different statements based on which color(s) you show the world.

Acquire Materials

If your fabric store is like mine, you can save money by purchasing fabric in fractions of a yard.  For an 18-inch hat, that's half a yard.  For a 12-inch hat, that's a third of a yard.  Get the appropriate fraction of a yard of fabulous hot pink Polar Fleece, and the same amount of your alternate color.  Don't forget to also get a spool of pink thread.  Fleece tends to hide fine stitching in its fuzziness, so don't worry too much that the thread will clash with the alternate color fleece.  The width of the fleece at my fabric store is 58 inches, so that means you will have enough fleece to make a Kitty Hat for a friend, too.

Stitching

As before, each square is 2 inches.

Polar Fleece typically has one side which is fuzzier than the other; the other side looks somewhat matted, like craft felt.  During construction, we want the fuzzy side on the inside; at the end, we will turn this garment inside out, so the fuzzy side will come to the outside, and the matted side (along with most of the seams) will be hidden inside this double-walled reversible hat.

First, fold your fleece over the short way and stitch the edge to make a sleeve, as in the diagram above.

Next, roll the seam so it's front and center.  Fold it flat so you can draw, pin, and stitch the top with the kitty ears.  I recommend you make each ear 4 inches wide and 2 inches tall.  I know that these ears don't look like they will stick out much, but when you pull this squarish hat top against your round head, the ears will pop out and look very feline.  My first design has taller ears, and they tend to curl inward and like pink demon horns, which is NOT the look I was going for; I really wish I had done my first one with 2 inch tall ears.

Carefully trim the excess fleece away from the top seam with the kitty ears; this will help the kitty ears stand up straight.

Now repeat these steps with the other (alternate color) piece of fabric.

Here, each square is about 3 inches.

Now we put our reversible sides together.  For now, we still want the seams on the outside, but we want the fuzzy sides facing each other, so one side should get turned inside-out and carefully placed inside the other.  Line up the seams with each other as in the diagram, pin the edge, and carefully stitch the bottom together as in the diagram.  Leave a WIDE gap (4 inches is NOT too wide) at the back so that you can turn the whole thing inside-out by pushing the whole garment through the gap.

After you turn the whole thing inside-out, all the excess fabric around the seams should be inside the double-walled garment.  Stitch the gap closed.  Fold up the hem (if you made your hat long enough).

Now Wash & Wear

I recommend you launder your fleece Kitty Hat before you wear it; the fabric manufacturer puts chemicals on the fabric for various reasons.  After washing, it should smell nicer and feel softer.

Pretzel Addendum

After the events I described in my eulogy to Pretzel, my wife couldn't concentrate at work and she came home.  It was a warm day for February, so she took me for a walk.  She felt guilty that she wasn't there with Pretzel, but I reassured her that there wasn't anything she could do; I carted Pretzel around town, but I wasn't with him when he died.  I didn't see Pretzel receive medical treatment; it all happened behind closed doors.  We talked about Pretzel, we talked about everything, and the exercise and fresh air helped me breathe normally without sobbing.  We came home, and I wrote the eulogy.

There was a lot I had to leave out and rearrange in that eulogy.  How do you condense 13 years--even 13 years in only the limited life of a cat--into a brief essay?  Although I maintain that the eulogy tells the truth, some facts had to bend in order to make that truth readable.

I must thank all the friends and family who wrote kind words of condolence during my grief.  It was heartwarming to have so many hands offering help and comfort.  Thank you all very much.

As the days passed since we lost Pretzel, my grief lifted by degrees.  The next morning, I thought that surely yesterday was a horrible dream, and that Pretzel must certainly be next to my bed waiting for breakfast; but of course this was a brief delusion.  The next evening, I had "One Less Bell to Answer" stuck in my head as I knocked around my house which seemed strangely emptier.

One day, I noticed a co-worker had a framed photo of an adorable cat on his desk.  I asked him about it, and he informed me his beloved cat passed on a month ago.  I explained my situation, and we related the same sorts of frustrations and agonies we both felt, and that we'd gladly clean up our cats worst messes in order to have them back again.  It was like a 5-minute support group session with only 2 people, but it was tremendously helpful for me.

A few days later, I was able to laugh without bitterness.  A week later, I was able to play video games again.  Life goes on.

For Hansel, recovery is much slower.  He has known Pretzel since the womb, and he is left all alone as my wife and I go to work during the day.  He meows, which Pretzel sort of did FOR him when dinner was due, and Hansel's lonely cries somehow sound more like emotional distress than mere complaint.

For grieving pets, it is recommended that the pet view and investigate the body of the deceased in order to properly understand the nature of their loved ones' departure.  Of course, I had no idea about this, and I foolishly left Pretzel's body in the hands of the Hospital personnel for the closure I hoped a necropsy would bring.

Today I got a call from the University Doctor who treated Pretzel during his final hours.  Pretzel's necropsy was complete, and revealed cancer in his spleen, liver, and intestine; specifically, an aggressive form of lymphoma, likely T cell lymphoma.  I asked if this was the reason Pretzel was losing weight for several years.  Lymphoma can cause weight loss, but untreated lymphoma kills within 6 weeks; the Doctor suspected Pretzel was likely suffering from Inflammatory Bowel Disease, and explained that there is no proven link between cancer and Inflammatory Bowel Disease.

The speed with which this cancer strangled the life out of Pretzel reassured me that if Pretzel suffered in his final hours, he surely must not have suffered for long.

I told Pretzel I loved him many times when I cradled his purring form in my arms, but of course cats have only the dimmest comprehension of the sounds humans make.  I asked my wife if Pretzel knew I loved him, and she informed me that she was sure he knew it.

Any one of us could go at any time, but as humans our capacity for language gives us a tremendous advantage.  Tell your loved ones how much you love them.  Tell your friends you appreciate them.  Thank people for doing things for you.  Try to be polite.  It costs you nothing to do any of this.